In defence of Jafas | The Jackal

16 Apr 2012

In defence of Jafas

I'm not sure why I torture myself sometimes by reading rightwing blogs of very little relevance. I guess I'm a glutton for punishment.

My self flagellation for today was in reading a rather large post (1040 words) by deluded rightwing stalwart Karl du Fresne, who waffled on with some of the worst parochial rubbish I've ever had the displeasure of reading:

For years I refused to indulge in the anti-Auckland prejudice commonly encountered south of the Bombay Hill. Those tiresome “Wellington is better” (or Christchurch, or Dunedin) arguments struck me as puerile and parochial. Eager to demonstrate my broad-mindedness, I argued that every New Zealand city had its virtues and Auckland was no exception.

I now realise I’ve failed to convince even myself. It’s hard to pinpoint the reason, still less articulate it, but every time I go to Auckland I like it less. My wife and I couldn’t get away soon enough after the latest trip.

The best way I can describe it is to say that Auckland seems a city without a heart – both literally and metaphorically.

du Fresne says he cannot articulate his reasons for not liking Auckland and then schizophrenically does just that. He's obviously trying to be controversial for the sake of controversy, which invariably results in crap articles. Auckland: a city without a heart is no exception to that rule.

Literally speaking, Queen Street is supposed to be the city’s heart; there’s even a business promotion organisation called Heart of the City. But Auckland’s heart, if that’s what it is, is barely beating. Despite the $50 million reportedly spent in recent years trying to tart it up, Queen St looks tired to the point of seeming almost moribund.

Well firstly, who was the idiot that said Queen Street is the heart of Auckland City? Saying Queen is the heart of Auckland instead of (for arguments sake) K Road is like saying Jervois Quay is the heart of Wellington City instead of Cuba Street or Courtney Place etc.

As a middle aged, middle classed and deluded male clearly experiencing a midlife crisis, du Fresne obviously has not experienced all that Auckland has to offer. His sterile opinion is a result of ignorance and prudishness, or perhaps he's just a little homesick for the backblocks.

There’s not so much as a faint spark of the energy and vibrancy that once made it a shoppers’ mecca. It looks and feels like a street in terminal decline. Even that doughty old department store Smith and Caughey – Auckland’s equivalent of Wellington’s Kirkcaldie and Stains or Ballantyne’s in Christchurch – seems to have given up the ghost.

In one sentence du Fresne talks about the heart of Auckland, and then he talks about malls. He completely ignores the fact that an article about the heart of a city should include its music venues, art galleries, restaurants and cafe's.

Not to mention theatres, parades and the night life, which incidental to the article, Auckland has an abundance of. But does he mention any of these... No! That's like trying to make an omelette without breaking eggs... and speaking of eggs:

Downtown Auckland gives the impression of having been gripped by the same disease I’ve seen in American and Australian cities: shoppers have abandoned it, either for fashionable inner-suburban Newmarket or for bland, lookalike suburban malls such as South Auckland’s Sylvia Park (a place that manages to be even duller than its name suggests).

Wow! In researching his article, du Fresne managed to visit Sylvia Park mall. The arrogance of this right-winger is simply unbelievable! He pretentiously waffles on about Malls and expects people to take him seriously in an article meant to be about the heart of Auckland.

It appears that du Fresne was blind to the inherent quality of his surroundings while in the city of sails, which is the tenth most livable city in the World.

In fact what he's doing is projecting his own self-loathing through irrelevant experiences onto completely unrelated topics. This is a common mental illness among bigots!

And here’s another thing: Queen St is the Street of Grunge. Most of the people we saw trudging its footpaths looked as if they hadn’t washed for days and were wearing clothes they’d hauled out that morning from a mouldy pile under the bed. After walking among these scrofulous-looking creatures I wondered whether we should check ourselves for fleas.

Really! Aucklander's (who make up around a third of the population) have fleas? The disingenuous du Fresne's higher than thou attitude is a good example of all that's wrong with right wing elitists... and such a blatant generalisation deserves nothing but contempt.

It's not until you get to the comments though that du Fresne reveals exactly why he doesn't like Auckland:

The signage on the main roads in and around Auckland is atrocious. Most signs give directions to specific streets and roads rather than suburbs.

Literally and metaphorically, learn to read a map book you fucking moron!